It’s one of the most popular times of year to propose: according to Bridebook, a popular wedding planning app, more than 100,000 engagements take place during the holiday season.
But as Brits feel the effects of years of high inflation, how much are people spending, what cuts are they planning and what happens to the ring if you split?
THE Money Blog I did a deep dive to find out.
The “two month salary rule”
When it comes to budgeting for a ring, the phrase that comes up a lot is that you should spend two months of your salary.
But did you know that it actually came from clever marketing? It was the work of De Beers, a diamond cartel, in the 1930s.
The Great Depression was a disaster for De Beers, so they launched a campaign to associate diamonds with engagements – and it really worked. In the 1940s, only 10% of engagement rings contained diamonds, but by the end of the 20th century, this proportion was 80%.
They did this by launching an advertising campaign suggesting that a single month’s salary was the right amount to spend on a ring. The biggest breakthrough then came in 1947 with the phrase “A diamond is forever”.
In the 1980s, the single monthly salary was increased to two months. A famous ad featuring a woman with a ring said: “Two months’ salary showed the future Mrs. Smith what the future would be like.” »
Learn more
BBC license fee to increase next year
Harry Potter star owes £1.8m tax bill
How much does it cost to freeze your eggs?
Another presented a ring and said, “How can you make two months’ salary last forever?”
By the turn of the century, De Beers had succeeded in making diamond engagement rings a wedding essential – and dictating how much a man had to pay for them.
According to the Office for National Statistics, the average monthly salary in the UK is £2,297 after tax, which would mean (if you followed De Beers’ logic) that the average Brit spends £4,594 on a ring.
Of course, for many Brits this is unaffordable – even though many can afford to pay more.
The Duchess of Sussex’s engagement ring is estimated to be worth between £150,000 and £300,000. Photo: AP
Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, wears a white engagement ring, with three diamonds, including some from Princess Diana’s collection. It is estimated to have cost Prince Harry between £150,000 and £300,000 – but is probably worth much more today.
Molly Mae Hague’s ring could be worth more than £1million. Photo: AP
Molly Mae, meanwhile, who split from fiancé Tommy Fury before walking down the aisle, was offered a five-carat oval diamond ring – worth at least £600,000.
A Sky News poll of more than 3,400 people on LinkedIn found a majority would spend between £1,000 and £5,000 on a ring.
Just 306 people said they felt rings were not necessary – fewer than the 507 people who said they would spend more than £5,000 on a ring.
“Two months? This is absurd – here’s what a lot of people do instead”
Charlotte Leigh, owner and founder of Lottie Leigh Fine Jewellery, advises her clients to spend what they can afford.
“One month, two months, three months… it’s relative nonsense. You should never put yourself in financial trouble because of an engagement ring. Because an engagement ring, no matter how beautiful, won’t pay the mortgage or the rent. It’s not going to pay your electric bill.
She often sees couples purchase a “starter” ring with the intention of upgrading later if and when they can afford it.
“It shows an attitude of, ‘I want you to have what you want, but in reality, that’s not practical right now.’ So let’s get something beautiful, and when we’re in a different financial situation, we’ll get you something fabulous,” she said.
And when it comes to choosing a stone, diamonds are a “lovely concept” but also practical, she said: “They are very durable and should last forever. »
In 2024, emeralds are more popular
New research, carried out by Ramsdens Jewelery, has revealed that emerald is the most sought after today, followed by diamonds and sapphires. The study analyzed nationwide Google searches for gemstones and engagement ring sizes to determine which ones were most in demand in the UK.
Emerald cut, princess cut and pear cut were the most popular styles.
File photo: iStock
The way we think about rings is changing
While writing this article, this reporter told Charlotte that her husband hadn’t given her an engagement ring at all — and Charlotte didn’t seem surprised to hear about someone doing things differently.
“The average age of marriage today is 32 and we are settling down much older than other generations,” she says.
“And when we meet people, we now move in with them before getting married. I know couples who have children who haven’t bothered to get married – this reflects the evolution of our society. People have different priorities.
But what she sees most often are people (usually women) designing their rings alongside their partners.
“It’s quite symbolic of how the place of women in society has changed. Before, women received a ring. And I promise you, nine times out of ten, it wasn’t the perfect ring.
“But now what we’re doing is saying it’s all about you and you and your happiness, and I want you to have the perfect ring. And I think that’s a beautiful concept.
Charlotte says that while a customer will sometimes walk through the door asking for “the whitest diamond with the best clarity,” they often change their mind when she shows them different options – because most of the differences aren’t visible on the screen. naked eye.
Grown in the laboratory or exploited?
One way to get a little more sparkle for your piece is to opt for a lab-grown diamond. Their composition is the same as mined diamonds, right down to the same sparkling atoms, but they were grown in a laboratory instead of extracted from the earth.
At first glance, this seems more environmentally friendly, but most lab-grown diamond producers need 250 to 750 kilowatt hours (kWh) to produce one rough carat (which would be the equivalent of running 750 dishwashers for a hour).
Synthetic diamonds are considered a more affordable alternative. Photo: iStock
“Whatever route you take with an engagement ring, even if it’s a stunning diamond, there is an impact on the environment – and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying,” says Charlotte.
Predictions also show that synthetic diamonds will eventually be “worth the same as (cheap) cubic zirconia”, says Charlotte, as the “market is flooded” because they are easy (although energy consuming) to make .
“The beauty of a diamond is that it’s rare,” she says.
What happens if you break up?
Like Molly Mae and Tommy Fury, not every engagement ends happily. Paris Hilton’s third engagement to actor Chris Zylka was marked by a 20-carat pear-shaped diamond ring, worth an estimated $2 million. After their breakup, the heiress refused to return it because Zylka allegedly received it for free from a close friend, jeweler Michael Green.
A very expensive ring found itself at the center of a legal battle that made its way to the Massachusetts Supreme Court, where arguments from attorneys representing Bruce Johnson and Caroline Settino were heard. The couple were briefly engaged in 2017.
According to court documents, Johnson purchased the engagement ring at Tiffany’s in Boston, paying more than $70,000. Shortly after the two got engaged, the relationship ended. Massachusetts law stated that the ring was a “conditional gift,” stating that the giver could get it back if found to be faultless in ending the relationship.
In the UK, however, the ring is generally classified as an “absolute gift”.
The Law Reform (Miscellaneous Provisions) Act 1970 states: “The gift of an engagement ring is presumed to be an absolute gift; this presumption can be rebutted by proving that the ring was given on the condition, expressed or implied, that it would be returned if the marriage did not take place for any reason.
Nelsons Solicitors says that although this seems unfair, it means the recipient is not required to return the ring if the marriage does not take place or ends in divorce.
We surveyed our readers and 55% said they should be returned.
Are you planning to propose this Christmas?
Charlotte says the amount you spend should depend on where you place your value.
“Some people value the cost per wear and the fun factor. So if you wear something every day and like it, you might say, well, it’s worth it.
“It’s a bit like a Chanel bag: it’s expensive, but is it worth it? It depends on the individual.